I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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