then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
