It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
