I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
