My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
