Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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