WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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