but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
