the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she woke up with a sticky ear
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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