here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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