Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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