Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize