She's JV to your varsity
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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