If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
