If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
