Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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