Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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