i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
