..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
