Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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