I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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