What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
