Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm like, not good at living.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
