I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
