She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
