That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
it glows. i had to have it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
