Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
