I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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