my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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