it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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