yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
