I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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