Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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