Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
