Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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