My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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