p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
