On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
