I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
