i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
