I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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