He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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