His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
