He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.