Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...