I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug