So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
