dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
