every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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