At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
