Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
