remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize