Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I came so hard my ears popped.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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