That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
