she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
