We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
