I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
