gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
