3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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