just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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