she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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