Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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