But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize