If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
