i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize