Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She bit a glass in half.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i out mim tonsoeep
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