So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
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Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You need a sexual gate keeper
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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