; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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