Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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