my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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